On February 12th I launched a new feature here on ScruffyRebel.Com that I’ve been wanting to get off the ground for over year – Center Stage: It’s not just play, it’s passion!  Center Stage is a bi-weekly Q&A feature on talented costumers and prop-makers within the cosplay community. The first Center Stage feature put the spotlight on costumer Kristin Sirota, and I was thrilled with the reception and feedback on this project!

The second Center Stage feature shines the spotlight on Becky Jordan, an accomplished costumer and costume commissioner whose work I’ve admired for years.

You might already be familiar with some of her work – Remember photos of three lovely ladies at Vasquez Rocks decked out in sexy Star Trek corsets that caught the eye of many a fan a few years back? Yup, she designed and made all of those, and modeled the blue corset herself!

Read on to learn about Becky and some of the other amazing creations she has been behind…

1. Why do you cosplay/what do you enjoy about it?

I mostly started cosplaying because of my love of Halloween and Theatre. I’ve always loved to dress up, even as a kid, and it wasn’t until I was about 25 that I even realized cosplaying was an actual thing to do. It’s hard to put a finger on one specific thing that I enjoy about cosplaying but I guess you could say for me it was more about the challenge of recreating the costume of a favorite character. Whenever I finish a piece and I go out in it and can feel confident that I did a good job it makes me proud that I was able to create what I’m wearing. And every time I do a new cosplay I make it a more complicated character in order to always stretch my ability.

2. How long have you been making costumes? What is your sewing background?

I started sewing when I was about 19 and was basically taken on as a sort of apprentice to my costuming professor. He taught me everything I knew and I applied it by working on our shows which were usually period pieces and musicals. When I left school I continued on in my own time with Halloween costumes. But I never actually went to school for sewing. Once I got back into sewing full time and saw how many people out there wanted someone to sew their costumes I created my own business. And that’s what I’ve been doing for the past 4/5 years.

3. Cosplay is for anyone, and you don’t need a well-made costume to have fun and enjoy the hobby. So why is an accurate/well-made costume so important to you? What drives you?

As I mentioned earlier it’s more about the challenge and being able to stretch my ability to make me better at what I do. Another reason is because I am always trying to get professional jobs in film and TV doing costumes. I have gotten a few but there aren’t many out there so you really have to work hard to get noticed. I do that by trying to do costumes that I’ve never done before and some that I know I’m really good at to create an interesting and diverse portfolio.

4. What is the costume you are most proud of having created? Why?

Ha! What’s funny is this answer pretty much changes every year because I’m constantly improving at what I do. Right now I think the one I’m most proud of is Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon A Time. But my other favorites are our Tron duo and Prince Nuada and Princess Nuala from Hellboy II. The Tron isn’t complete on mine and will be a part of my future projects and I still need to take studio photos of Nuala and Nuada to really show off some of the detail. The problem with all of those is time and intense makeup lol! But I will one day soon!!

5. What was the most difficult costume/costume piece for you to replicate?

Hmmm….tough one because each “difficult” costume has something that was more difficult then the other ones in some way. For example Nuada and Nuala had a lot of layers. Nuada had to have that armor created and the corset belt with the medallion in the middle and all that pleating was very tricky. Nuala I had to ombre dye the bottom of the skirt which was my first time attempting that in my apartment out of a plastic bucket and a tea kettle hahaha! But Tron had the electronics and the crazy patterning of Gem’s bodysuit while Rumple had that gator collar which dealt with working with the natural shape of the hides and dying them. But I guess overall Nuada and Nuala are the absolute most difficult if you mean in terms of completeness due to the makeup side.

6. What advice would you offer for fellow cosplayers that seek to create highly accurate replica costumes?

Have a large budget. Seriously. It’s very very difficult to be as accurate as possible without a decent budget. The costumes I mentioned above all went into the range of $800-$1200 for materials alone. The other is detail. Detail in the shoes, in the trim, in wearing white tights if your character has a white face and hands because you never know when someone will catch you when you’re walking and your legs show a bit from under that long dress. Hair as well. I’ve seen some amazing costumes and then the person wearing it didn’t do their hair or makeup or just threw on some shoes they had at home that looked nothing like they should have and it can really throw a costume. I think it’s better to not be so super accurate on a certain aspect of the costume and use that money to be “representative accurate” for the entire look. So instead of maybe buying the exact pair of shoes but not that super elaborate Marie Antoinette style white wig you should go with a pair of cheaper not as accurate pair that you can decorate and get the wig so you look more complete.

7. Do you have any new skills you learned for the sake of a costume, like working with leather, learning to knit, hand-beading, etc.?

Definitely working with leather and hides like the crocs for the collar. The electronics for Tron although my husband did that for Castor since he’s exceptionally good at it and I had other things to focus on. Also working with the liquid latex (and next time it will be balloon rubber) to coat my Siren Gem costume. Hmmm what else……Doing the hand embroidery for the Mad Hatters pants and doing the ombre dying like I mentioned for Nuala.

8. Do you consider yourself a cosplayer, costumer, or both? Is there a difference to you?

I would say a costumer. I mostly only dress up to go to big events like Labyrinth Ball in Los Angeles and Comic Con. I’ll also dress up to the Renn Faire. But smaller events I usually don’t and I only ever wear what I make. I don’t usually like to dress up in something that I’ve purchased because it takes that accomplished/challange element out of it. I know a lot of people who are cosplayers who go to almost any and every event out there no matter how big or small and wear something every time. Even if it’s something small they dress up. I always feel a bit self conscious though if I go somewhere dressed in costume and there aren’t a lot of others dressed up as well lol.

9. What’s your dream costume to replicate and why?

Well I’ve done quite a few really. I usually only make costumes that I look at and go “YES I WANNA DO THAT!”. Some of the ones that I want to do but haven’t yet are the breathe gown from Ever After and the big red dress the Queen wears in Mirror, Mirror. The reason is simply because they are stunning pieces. They look impressive and beautiful and that’s what I love to create now. I still like to do sexy costumes but as I’ve gotten older I find myself drawn to the more subtle or striking beauty of a costume that covers everything but still makes someone look incredible. Also as you get older you realize that maybe you don’t look so good in those skimpy outfits so you have to rethink a bit hahaha!

10. Is there a sewing technique, tools or tips you find invaluable that you would recommend?

A roll hem foot for doing hems on lightweight pieces like chiffon. And a good tailor to do all your large hems hhahahaha! Seriously though…I hate hems with a passion so if I have a huge skirt that needs an invisible hem it goes straight to my tailor.

11. What’s your best cosplay moment?

I’ve never really had to many crazy cosplay moments because I really haven’t been doing it for super long and at to many places. But I think one of the most fun was being the Tron duo at Disneyland on Halloween. Actually any time we go to Disneyland dressed up is an amazing time! The kids and families love it and it’s like being a kid again running around Dland in costume.

12. Is there a cosplayer/costumer you admire and/or who inspired you to hone and develop your own skills as a costumer?

Well there are plenty of cosplayers who I see do incredible work most definitely. I can’t even really name any because everyone I have seen has something that I’ve gone “Wow I wish I could do that”. As for costumers I’m a huge fan of Colleen Atwood. Everything she creates I look at and then hang my head in shame since I’m no where near her level of awesomeness hahahaha. But I strive to try at least. I love fantasy costumes and costumes that you know you’d never see in real life but somehow just work in film and TV with the stories that get told. I love the kind of costumes that when you see them you get to see the creators imagination in them and they convey what and who a character is before they even start speaking. I’ve always wanted to be an actor (who doesn’t right?) but I never felt complete without a costume on. And that’s probably why I ended up in costuming as opposed to acting because no matter how much I wanted to act, I wanted to dress up more.

If you’d like to keep up with Becky and her costume making, follow her on Facebook at Evening Arwen: Custom Costumes and Corsets, or check her out on DeviantArt.

Is there a cosplayer/costumer/prop maker you think deserves a spotlight on Center Stage? Let me know! Feel free to send your suggestions, comments and recommendations to my e-mail: victoria@scruffyrebel.com, or shoot me a message on Facebook.

Welcome to a new feature on ScruffyRebel.Com – Center Stage!

I’ve been wanting to get this off the ground for over a year, and am so glad to finally have it up and running.

There are plenty of Q&A cosplay-related features out there, but I hadn’t come across one that really focused on costumes and costume-making. Center Stage seeks to put the spotlight on those in the community that specifically craft costumes. For every cosplayer that, for whatever reasons, has a following/is popular within the community, there are a dozen others just as phenomenal that get little to no recognition. That’s just not right! I don’t know why I’m lucky enough to have a little bit of a following, but since I do, I want to put it to good use and focus on the truly amazing people within the community that inspire me every day.

Welcome to Center Stage.

The first Center Stage feature is on Kristin Sirota! Kristin is a gal I’ve known in the costuming community for a number of years and admired for the dedication and skill she puts into her all costumes – she sequined her own pair of Ruby Slippers by hand!

Read on to learn more about Kristin and the passion she puts into her costumes…

1. Why do you cosplay/what do you enjoy about it?

I create costumes because I love a good challenge on my seamstress and artistic skills, as well as being able to own a garment I fell in love with.  I see it more as a creative process.  When I’m in costume, I’m not always playing the character part, but rather displaying my work for others to enjoy as well.
I think the best part though, is the volunteer work I do.  Nothing is more exciting than being Leia and having little girls come up to you for hugs, saying that they were YOU for Halloween and want to be strong like Leia when they grow up.  It brings a tear to my eye, because I remember being that little girl giving Leia a hug and wanting to be her when I grew up… and now I am.

2. How long have you been making costumes? What is your sewing background?

Halloween always consisted of cobbling things together from my closet or the thrift store and adding just the right amount of paint, glitter, and glue.  A black cat made from an old fur scarf and black sweat suit when I was 8, a gypsy from a hippie’s peasant skirt and blouse with gaudy jewelry when I was 10, or a Grim Reaper witch (my own weird imagination) when I was 12, I always had fun costumes.  I never liked store bought costumes, they were always boring, and everyone had them.
I remember in the first grade, I didn’t have a costume for our school’s Halloween parade.  I was so depressed, but my family was going through hard times and there was no time or money for something that wasn’t needed.  My teacher opened up a giant trunk she had brought with her that day, and out spilled hats and wigs and masks and clothes.  We managed to find a cheer leader outfit and turned it into a Majorette.  We made a hat from construction paper and a baton from tin foil and glitter.  I got to lead the class in the 1st grade parade and I was the happiest kid ever.  I have loved dressing up ever since.

I’ve been sewing since I was 8; I helped my mom with that cat costume.  I then became addicted to fiddling with scrap fabrics and attempting to make Barbie some new clothes.  I only ever got as far as little pillows and blankets for her bed.  I picked sewing back up in middle school with a quick lesson in Home-Ec on threading a machine and basic stitches.  I still remember all of it to this day.  I remember my teacher showing me how to ditch stitch my pillow shut so it would look even and the seam would blend with the machine stitching.  I was able to make an apron and a pillow with an A+ grade on both.  I didn’t really expand on my sewing skills due to being at a difficult time in my life with my family and it fell to the wayside.
I picked it back up my sophomore year of high school, when I chose to make Queen Titania’s costume from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” for a class project.  I hadn’t sewn anything really since middle school, and had NO knowledge of garment construction or how a dress was made.  I designed the dress myself, bought the fabrics and trims with guidance from my mom on what to buy, and dove in head first.  I made a MESS now that I think back on it.  At that time though, I was SO proud of my dress, and managed to get a B+ on it.  Soon after, Star Wars TPM came out and I KNEW I wanted a Sith costume to wear!  I had no money or any idea what a Sith lord should really look like, so I cobbled together a last minute “costume” from clothes I had on hand.  It was awful LOL.  When AOTC came out, that was it; I knew I had to improve on last time.  I bought patterns and researched fabrics and colors and accessories.  I made matching Jedi Master and Padawan costumes for my dad and I and we ruled Halloween that year.  I just kept going from there and never looked back. I’m completely self-taught with no college training.  Everything I learn, I figure out on my own, or read about in a book or online.  I’ve also learned how to draft patterns over the years from reading and altering store-bought ones to fit me and my needs.  I have a high spatial ability and can almost “see” how clothes are constructed and what the pattern pieces look like.  I call costuming “Sculpture with fabrics and a lot of math”.

3. Cosplay is for anyone, and you don’t need a well-made costume to have fun and enjoy the hobby. So why is an accurate/well-made costume so important to you? What drives you?

I would have to say that I feel if you love a character or genre enough to want to make a costume from it, give it your all!  You may not be the best right away (I sure wasn’t!) but you can improve and hone your skills to make what you want a reality. I strive for perfection, but don’t kill myself over it.  I’m also the biggest penny saver I know (had to be growing up) and will spend 3 hours online looking for the perfect 5mm translucent ruby sequin for 1/4 of the cost of somewhere that had them easily available for instant purchase.  This is a true story regarding my Dorothy slippers.  I will try as hard as possible to save as much money as I can, while still making it look great. I like my costumes to be as close as possible as a tribute to what I can accomplish as an artist and to show off my attention to details.  I also like being able to represent the costume as closely as I can to pay homage to the original garment and to the designer who worked so hard to bring it to life in the first place.

4. What is the costume you are most proud of having created? Why?

Oh my, this is seriously like choosing a favorite child.  I guess it would have to be either Kaylee’s fluffy Layer Cake “Shindig” dress and all her accessories, or my 1966 Catwoman ensemble.
Kaylee’s dress was the first time I’d made so much for a costume, pretty much 99% of it from the ground up.  I drafted a pattern for the skirt, did a lot of math to get the measurements and yardage needed for all the ruffles (SO MANY RUFFLES!), drafted the bodice – fully lined, and made all the accessories for it.  I had to learn how to dye polyester fabric, so that was a new skill.  I also did not own a ruffle foot for my sewing machine, so between the petticoat ruffles and the skirt, there were about 100 yards of hand gathered ruffles.  I even made the gloves, something I’d ever done before. I dyed an old white tee shirt pink and then used a pair of gloves I had on hand and copied how they were made. I had never intended to make this dress, ever.  I had thought it was out of my skill set, but I just couldn’t help loving it.  At the time, I had only ever seen one other person with a gorgeous version of this, and I knew I had to make it.  It wasn’t competition, so much as a need to fill a void in the costuming world.  There was a lack of layer cakes out there lol.

Catwoman was another challenge to my skills and new ones learned.  This is another one I made almost everything for (sans Belt, Boots, and catgun), this time I got to incorporate my love of jewelry making!  I had never sewn a proper bodysuit before, especially not from 2 way stretch fabric.  I had to read up online on how to construct a body suit, but everything was intended for 4 way stretch fabrics.  I read everything I could on construction of the batgirl suit, since they were the same structure.  There were girls complaining about itchy fabric and the lack of ability to bend over or sit down.
I knew this meant more was needed.  I designed my suit and bought a cheap 2 way stretch material to mock it up on.  I knew I wanted to be able to move freely and pose and sit.  This meant making changes to the direction in which the grain of the fabric went.  Legs had to be fitted exact, this way they could stretch up and down, letting me bend my legs and sit.  The bodice and arms were cut on the bias for comfort and movability. I solved the itchy problem by using stretch fold-over tape to cover EVERY seam on the inside.  I used about 10-12 yards of trim and was SO glad I had.  I didn’t need to wear another bodysuit under this one (so I didn’t die from heat) and it was comfortable!  I could move about a con unhindered and sit in the Batmobile for pictures! I also made the mask, ears, glove and claws, and necklace for this.

5. What was the most difficult costume/costume piece for you to replicate?

That would be my Opera Twilek with 7000+ beads on the bodice.  I had never beaded before in my life and spent quite a while adding all of those beads and pearls to the bodice.  I was never 100% happy with it, and my skills have only improved since then.  I’d love to redo it one day, but I’m not in a rush.

6. What advice would you offer for fellow cosplayers that seek to create highly accurate replica costumes?

Research, research, research!  Take screen caps, look for production stills or promo shots, and look at what others have done for inspiration.  You can never do too much research.  Don’t forget that colors will always look different from Movie Screen to Promo Shot to real life.  Choose if you want it to look like it did in the movie, or if it matches as it really is made.  I tend to try to match for the movies, as that is what people know most of the time.  Take swatches of different fabrics and photograph them in different lighting to see if you like how it looks.  Something in the sun will often time look totally different under flash or fluorescent lights.
Take your time if you can.  I understand just as well as any costumer that it’s not always an option.  I’ve had my last minute costume ideas, and have usually scrapped them because I just couldn’t possibly do it the justice I wanted and it deserved.
Price shop for things.  Don’t jump on the first shoes you find (unless it’s a screen accurate item that is super rare).  If you need plain black boots for a costume, check a thrift store!  My favorite pair of boots came from a thrift store for $20.  I still have and wear them 12 years later.

7. Do you have any new skills you learned for the sake of a costume, like working with leather, learning to knit, hand-beading, etc.?

I guess I haven’t really ventured too far out of my little sewing nook.  I’ve learned how to embroider, bead, and dye fabrics though.  Outside of costumes, I’ve taught myself how to do Chainmaille and jewelry work.  This did come in handy for a few costumes in the long run though.
I did JUST get my first serger and can’t wait to use it.  I know, someone who’s been sewing for so long, how did I NOT have one?!  Luckily this was an awesome Christmas gift from my wonderful brother and sister-in-law.  I couldn’t afford to get one myself, so they filled that gap.

8. Do you consider yourself a cosplayer, costumer, or both? Is there a difference to you?

I’d say Costumer.  I see cosplay as just that, play.  I make costumes ultimately as an art form for display.  I don’t normally pretend to be a character unless it’s a children’s event or promo event.  I don’t run around looking for the yellow brick road or wondering where the white rabbit went.  I hand sequin 5000 ruby sequins to shoes I covered by hand in red fabric, to create a work of art.  I just happen to be able to wear that art and show it off to others who appreciate the hard work involved.

9. What’s your dream costume to replicate and why?

Oh there are SO many.  Like a fly to honey, I am attracted to visually beautiful pieces and things high in detail.  I would love to recreate 90% of the dresses from “Marie Antoinette”.  I have a love for antique and history.  Even if her dresses were a bit on the theatrical side at times, they are BEAUTIFULLY done and take my breath away.  I would really love to get more into historical recreation, especially the Victorian and Georgian periods.  I really can’t pick just one.

10. Is there a sewing technique, tools or tips you find invaluable that you would recommend?

Invest in a really good pair of scissors and take care of them.  I must have gone through 8 or more pairs of cheap fiskars over the years.  I ultimately ended up with a pair of Kai shears that are able to cut through 12 layers of fleece like butter.  The cheaper scissors always struggled on 1 layer.  Keep a pair for cutting patterns separate from the fabric scissors.  Pinking shears are also wonderful.  I inherited my grandmother’s shears (c. 1950′s) that I just had sharpened and work great.
Use good thread!  The bargain bin threads may seem like a bargain, but I found from experience that they just cause more problems than the money saved.  I spent 4 hours once fighting with a spool of thread that kept snapping.  I thought it was the needle or the tension or even my machine.  A friend finally suggested a better brand thread upon hearing my dilemma, and my day was saved.  I tossed all of the cheap thread and only ever buy the gütermann threads for my projects.

11. What’s your best cosplay moment?

I made my 1966 Catwoman to wear to “Big Apple Con” 2009 and meet Julie Newmar and hang out with my friends as Batman and Batgirl.  I got all dressed up and headed over to the Batmobile that was on display so I could get a shot with it.  Well the owner let me stay there and take a lot of pictures with it.  I ended up getting requests from con attendees to take pictures with me and the car together, so I stuck around for a while.  Just when the line died out and I was about to leave, I get asked to stay for one more person, they’d been watching me all morning and really wanted a picture too.  I was okay with that and waited a little bit.
So I was turned around talking to my husband when I feel a tap on shoulder behind me and see my husband’s eyes get big as saucers.  He tells me not to freak out (under his breath) and to turn around.  I may have squeaked in delight a little when I came face to face with Catwoman herself!!!  Julie wanted a picture with ME!  Turns out her signing booth was right across from the Batmobile and she couldn’t help but notice the Catwoman standing by it all morning.  OMG, she was so wonderful and such a doll.  She is exquisite and beautiful.  I was floored and honored that she actually wanted pictures with me.  She had her handler take HER camera and take pictures of us together in different poses.  She complimented me on my costume and loved that I made it all.  She especially loved my necklace and the catgun (made by a dear friend).  She invited me to her table later in the day to take a quick little video of her and I.  I will never forget this ever, and it truly is my favorite moment ever.

12. Is there a cosplayer/costumer you admire and/or who inspired you to hone and develop your own skills as a costumer?

I have so many friends that I admire for different reasons and skills.  Friends that can take a hunk of clay and then end up sculpting and casting their own Slave Leia gear (Michaela) to friends with phenomenal seamstress skills that make me want to better my own (KayDee and Vera).

If you’d like to keep up with Kristin and her costume making, follow her on Facebook at BenaeQuee – Costumer and Hoop Dancer

Is there a cosplayer/costumer/prop maker you think deserves a spotlight on Center Stage? Let me know! Feel free to send your suggestions, comments and recommendations to my e-mail: victoria@scruffyrebel.com, or shoot me a message on Facebook.

Just once, I want to experience this.

I’m sure many of us at some point growing up wanted to have a go at the flying trapeze. I’m no different, and possibly like a lot of my friends, my desire is geek based. From the moment I watched Batman: The Animated Series at 8 or 9 years old, Dick Grayson instantly became my all-time most beloved comic character, and I was fascinated and obsessed with his origin story as a circus performer on the trapeze. I just HAD to try that at some point. As a kid, most fantasies like that stay fantasies…and I doubt any kid realizes that, as an adult, many childhood fantasies can actually be realized, they just unfortunately get forgotten or pushed aside as the years go by.

I’m not sure if I believe in Fate, or things being “meant to be”, but it’s been hard to ignore some signs over the past year of what feels like the Universe telling me – DO IT. Capture your dreams. MAKE THEM HAPPEN.

At some point this year I randomly came across the website for Richie Gaona. How did I do that? Well he’d been used as a trapeze source/expert for J.T. Krul’s Flashpoint issue “Deadman and the Flying Graysons”, and I must have been doing a Google search concerning Nightwing – as I’m wont to do – and BAM, my heart skipped a bit. I couldn’t conceive of anything cooler than knowing that an actual trapeze artist had been consulted for a Dick Grayon-related comic. I’m pretty sure I hyperventilated from the nerd high it gave me.

And then I read more about Richie Gaona and how he teaches trapeze. And then I lost my shit.

The Gaona Trapeze Workshop was located in Southern California.

And not just Southern California. But Los Angeles.

And not just Los Angeles. But Woodland Hills.

And not just Woodland Hills. But ONE FREEWAY EXIT AWAY. . . FROM MY APARTMENT.

I wanted to cry. Could anything be more amazing and magical and special and meant to be then learning that the man who was consulted for a Dick Grayon comic book teaches trapeze mere minutes from my home?

But there are bills to pay, and I’m unemployed, and there are so many other life responsibilities to pay attention to that, like many times before, this silly hopeful fantasy has been brushed aside.

But if there IS something like Fate, and if some things ARE meant to be . . . it’s not letting up.

A few weeks/months after discovering the magic and awesome that is the Gaona Trapeze Workshop, I literally flipped out when my Twitter feed showed my friend Rachel Lara tweeting with Alex Gaona, son of Richie Gaona, about trapeze related things. I’m pretty sure I hijacked whatever conversation they were having and probably scared both of them. But after making sure to follow Alex Gaona on Twitter, I forgot about it again.

Because there are bills to pay, and I’m unemployed, and there are so many other responsibilities to attend to.

And then shortly after that, on Facebook, I discovered that another friend BBF has actually been doing the trapeze, AT Gaona’s, for years and years and years! It’s a wonder it took me so long to know this in the first place. But every time I see him upload a photo from a trapeze session, it’s like the Universe is taking a hammer to my head and knocking really hard – HEY, remember how badly you want to try this? Remember how you keep forgetting it, and ignoring it, and pushing it aside? Well now we’re never going to let you forget. You KNOW people that do this now. No excuses.

But, what’s that? Oh yeah, I’m unemployed. And the bills never stop piling up. And sitting here daydreaming, wistfully, desperately, about this one thing, over and over again…starts to feel dumb. Because there are always going to be things people WANT to do, all the time, but they’re wants, not needs, like paying the bills, and finding a job. And no matter how much I’d like to argue that this want should be a NEED, it’s just not.

Then last week I started reading The Bloggess, and came across her post about her Traveling Red Dress Project. About wanting something, in this case a red dress, but knowing she’d never get it. Because it wasn’t sensible, it was impractical, etc., etc., but the primal want was still there:

“And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply “not sensible”. Things like flying lessons, and ballet shoes, and breaking into spontaneous song, and building a train set, and crawling onto the roof just to see the stars better. Things like cartwheels and learning how to box and painting encouraging words on your body to remind yourself that you’re worth it.

And I am worth it.”

I really wanted to cry after reading that. It was so indescribably meaningful to know that someone else felt and thought so much like I do. And at this moment in my life, in the current state it’s in, where I find myself constantly stressed out and feeling depressed far more often than I’d like, this post really hit me hard. Jenny, The Bloggess, got her red dress, and she wore the hell out of it. And she was so inspired by her experience that she has sent the dress, and other dresses, from city to city to anyone that wants to wear it and feel special and have their own experiences like she did. But of course the red dress is more than an actual dress:

“So today, think about what it is you need and were too embarrassed to ask for. And then go fucking do it. Wear a ball gown to the grocery store. Invite the neighbors to have a picnic on the front lawn. Get that novel out of your sock drawer and publish it yourself. Stand on a bus stop bench and belt out a song for the waiting strangers. Find a playground swing and remember how it felt to fly. Find your red dress. And wear the hell out of it.“

I know what my red dress is. It’s to experience the art of the trapeze. And despite how impractical it is to want to do it right now in my life, it’s both a want and a need I feel I so desperately need to achieve in this moment in time.

But I can’t do it on my own. In fact I can’t do it at all without the help of friends. Friends who might very wisely think – dude, this is stupid. Just wait ’til you have a job and can properly afford it – but might be willing to indulge me anyway.

Because just once, and even if it’s only just once, I want a childhood dream to actual push through the barriers and become real. I want to be Dick Grayson. And I want to fly.

And yes, I’m well aware that even if I only manage one session at the Gaona Trapeze Workshop, I probably wont even touch a trapeze because I’ll need to learn the basics on the ground first. But hey. Even THAT is something.

From what I’ve gathered it’s a $25 Registration Fee, and around $50 Per Session.

In a time in my life where I can barely afford to order from the Dollar Menu at McDonald’s, $75 feels like an unattainable amount.

And despite the misgivings and awkwardness I feel, I’m still throwing caution to the wind and putting this out there: If anyone feels crazy enough to want to help me with my birthday wish by funding me, you can do so via . My PayPal email is scruffyrebel@yahoo.com

There’s nothing I can give you in return other than my word that any funds received will only be used towards trapeze classes. But my word is all of me, and hopefully that’s enough. That, and of course the knowledge that I’ll totally film my experiences, whatever they may be, for you to enjoy afterwards.

And hey, if nothing comes of this, that’s okay. I let my heart speak, I gave it a shot, and you don’t lose anything by trying, but you lose everything by not.

Thank you for listening to my silly ramblings. I love you all and thank you for inspiring me every day.

That daring young man on the flying trapeze

That’s right, Team Scruffy!

I received so many donations to help me participate in the Course of the Force that I was able to turn around and assist two other people in participating – my boyfriend Jinyo, and the amazing young cosplayer Ainsley Parks. Thanks to you, a total of $1,500 was donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. That’s amazing! I cannot express enough gratitude for the help and support given by all of you.

Check out some of the event images of Jinyo and me participating in the relay as General Grievous and Ahsoka Tano:

You can also check out the Course of the Force video recapping the relay. We show up around 8:13:

Help me raise money for the Make-A-Wish Foundation!

If I reach $500, Ahsoka will be able to participate in the Course of the Force Olympic-style lightsaber relay!

If I reach $1000, General Grievous will join me!

I’m quite active on my Facebook and Twitter profiles if you’d like to keep in contact with me, but I decided I needed a proper website (and a current one unlike the one I stopped updating in 2008!) to properly house and showcase my images, articles, interviews, and all other sorts of random things.

Have a look around!

<3